remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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