Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What drink are we having for lunch?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
