Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
