brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
