So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
