I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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