Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
