I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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