She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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