I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
