You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
