Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize