Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
that may or may not have been my penis.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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