Don't you send me to vm
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
