Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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