Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I've blown a few things in my day
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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