Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
