i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
