Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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