If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Less talking, more tequila
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
