If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
