So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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