I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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