And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
