and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
