operation harelip BJ is a go
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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