Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
