i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
