I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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