Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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