Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
