babies were throwing up all over the place
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
