I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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