How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
