cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I looked at my own cervix.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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