Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
