my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
