Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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