Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize