god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
handjob tips. give me some.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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