Whod you bang
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
