You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize