If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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