talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
