I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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