i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
