so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
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And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
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He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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