The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
