Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
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I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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