There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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