i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
