There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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