Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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