wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
