and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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