Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
