he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
