Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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