i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
