things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
