He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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