whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i love accidental penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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