he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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