problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
