No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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