I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
