he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
