Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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