I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
