She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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